Professor Layton and the Twilight Enigma
by Cryptid Hunter
Summary: Layton and Luke sit in a coffee shop and contemplate the greatest mystery of all... why Bella likes Edward. However, little do they know that Bella is in the same shop and is crushing on Layton... and little does SHE know that Luke is crushing on her...
1. Coffee and Crushes

**A/N: This is the result of a little too much time on my hands. And my loving of hating Twilight. And in honor of Layton's new game... which took WAY too long to come out. Also, here's hoping a certain someone gets better. She knows who she is.**

**Oh yeah, it doesn't take Layton to figure out I own neither Twilight nor Professor Layton.**

Layton set down the book on the table in front of him and looked at Luke in confusion. "There's this puzzle I can't quite solve," he admitted unhappily; Layton had never encountered a puzzle that he couldn't solve. This feeling of helplessness was as foreign to him as the surface of the moon.

"What is it, Professor?" Luke asked, tilting the brim of his baby-blue hat up.

Layton held up a black book; a chessboard with a white queen dominated the red pawn in the background. "It is this book."

"I recognize that, Professor! That's _Breaking Dawn_!" Luke was intimately familiar with it, as a strange feeling arose in his stomach whenever he read about Bella. "What's the puzzle? Why it's so popular? Why Edward is capable of fathering a child? Why the Cullens sparkle in the sun?"

"No, Luke. I'm afraid the puzzle concerns Bella… and her love for Edward. I simply cannot put my finger on why she likes him so much. It is a puzzle I find even I am unable to solve."

Luke was silent. Little did he want to reveal to Layton how he had gone other these exact words in his head, how many times he had pondered that same mystery; and, as a result, how many times he had seen himself in Edward's place.

Bella sat on the other side of the coffee shop, eyeing the man who had just been reading the book about her. Well, _based_ on her, but that was a rant for another story. The man wore a dark brown trench coat that ended smartly at his hips; his matching brown pants and burnt orange shirt perfectly complemented the top hat on his head, which he had curiously not taken off when he entered the shop.

One, this man was tall, dark, and handsome. Two, he had a voice smoother than the coffee she was slurping down. And three, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Bella sat, believing that every male in the world act like her husband (ex-husband, she now wished), waited for Layton to come over and fall in love with her. What Bella had forgotten, unfortunately, was that she was no longer in the fantasy land of sparkly vampires. This was the real world, where not every guy waited on her beck and call.

After several long minutes, Bella decided to take the initiative and go over and introduce herself. Grabbing her coffee, she stood up and crept across the floor. Her high-school insecurities and nervousness threatened to overcome her. After what seemed like hours, she stopped at the edge of Layton's table.

Both Layton and Luke looked up at the newcomer, but to very different reactions. While Luke was mentally comparing her with the _Twilight_ protagonist, Layton stood up.

"Hello, my dear," he said, extending his hand. "How can I help you?"

Bella just about swooned. This man was a _gentleman_; this stood in stark contrast with Edward, as she wasn't used to this treatment.

"Well I couldn't help but notice," she began, pointing to the book on the table. "that you're reading a book about me."

"So it is you!" Luke jumped up. "I knew it!"

"Luke!" admonished Layton. "That is no way to treat a lady!" He pulled a chair from a nearby table and held it out for Bella. Swooning, she sat down.

"So this book's about you?" Luke asked.

"Well, partially. Stephenie took some creative liberties with it."

"All this talk about _Twilight_ reminds me of a puzzle. Care to hear it?" Layton asked in such a way that clearly indicated he was going to share it either way. "Well, I find it a mystery why you are so attracted to that Edward fellow. Why is that?"

Bella opened her mouth to repeat some trite mushy reason, but found herself at a sudden loss for words. "Well… I… um… I'm not in love with him."

Layton smiled at finding the solution to his puzzle, but Luke smiled for a very different reason. A new door had been opened, revealing all the possibilities that lay before him…

"I'm not surprised," Layton admitted. "There is no logical reason for your relationship."

The sudden tinkling of the bell above the door heralded the arrival of a new customer. As the figure walked in, Bella's heart sank.

It was Edward.

**A/N: Fave, review, share, shamelessly promote it, print it out and tape it to the ceiling above your bed. Whatever floats your boat, really. **


	2. Rips and Revelations

**A/N: Thanks for all of your support so far! I'm thinking of writing one more chapter, _maybe_ two. It depends on how the story evolves. Also, SPOILER ALERT: this chapter includes storyline spoilers for _Diabolical Box_. I found they conveniently fit into my story. Like, scarily convenient. **

**My friend is still not better. Well, she might be, but she's sick again. So once again, here's hoping her health improves :)**

**Also, I have not yet secured the rights to Twilight nor Professor Layton. And I probably never will. **

"Time to go, my-" Edward stopped short, taking in Bella sitting with two unknown men.

"You must be Edward," Layton stood up and extended his hand. "A pleasure to meet you."

Edward grasped Layton's hand with a little more force than was necessary. Then he sat down, curiously looking at the young boy gazing at his wife. "Hello," he said stiffly.

"Now I must confess," started Layton, "that I am quite the puzzle aficionado. Yet one mystery eludes me. That is to say, why Bella likes you so much."

A flicker of emotion slipped over Edward's face, which quickly returned to an impassive stare. "Well, I'm handsome," he pointed out. "And I have liquid topaz eyes."

"True," admitted Layton. "But what does Bella see in you? What is it about your personality that draws her in?"

Edward struggled for a moment. Clearly, he had not given this much thought. "She smells like apples… I like apples."

"That's not a reason for her liking you. What else?"

"Well, I think you're just not experienced enough to understand our love," Edward said sorely, putting his hand protectively on top of Bella's.

"Yes, I feel my literacy does not help my comprehension here," admitted Layton, a hint of venom in his voice. "It defies all logical reasoning."

"I know, Professor!" Luke piped up, tearing his eyes away from Bella. "It must be that hallucinogenic gas from that mine in Folsense!"

"Luke, I believe you might be onto something," Layton said, his excitement audible in his voice. "Edward – are you wearing any jewelry? Particularly gold jewelry?"

"Why yes, said Edward," slipping off his bracelet bearing the Cullen crest and holding it up. "I've got this."

"Luke – I believe you can explain this now," Layton proffered.

Luke, eager to show off in front of Bella, eagerly launched into the answer. "Well, Bella, when we were in Folsense, we discovered this gold mine; a mine that had hit a pocket of hallucinogenic gas. This made everything seem like your preconceived notions of it. It was employed primarily… by a vampire."

"Hallucinogenic gas? What a cop-out!" Edward exclaimed.

"Shhh, Edward, let them finish the story!" Bella admonished.

"So Bella, when you were told by your classmates that Edward was hot. So that's you were so attracted to him. And then Edward, desperate for a girlfriend after 100 years of being turned down, jumped on the opportunity to finally have someone love him. That's why no one else but you can like Edward – you're the only one under the influence of his gas."

Bella snorted, but let the awkward phrase pass.

"So what you're saying, is that Bella only likes me because of some bracelet I'm wearing?"

"Effectively, yes," said Layton.

An awkward silence followed. Luke stared at Bella. Bella stared at Layton. Layton mixed his tea. Edward looked at the other occupants of the table, flicking his gaze from face to face.

Then Bella, in an uncharacteristic surge of courage voiced what her heart was saying. "Edward… I think your spell is wearing off… I think my heart belongs to another man now."

Edward stared in horror at Bella. Then, he soundlessly jumped to his feet and ran out the door, leaving the bell tinkling madly behind him.

**A/N: Please do not review this. Nor fave it. Nor share it. I hate all of that.**

**Kidding! Please please please do any or all of the above!**


	3. Interdicts and Introductions

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out, guys. Thanks for all of your continued support! Each and every comment you submit is a little life jacket of happiness that buoys me up above the seas of monotony and boredom. And if I drown in there, I obviously won't be able to write any more installments ;)**

**And believe it or not, my Laura or sorts (European History/Literary ref - congrats if you get it!) is sick yet again. Or at least not feeling well. Maybe I should stop dedicating these to her, and she might get better!**

**The story so far: Bella has dumped Edward, having broken free of the charm of the hallucinogenic gas wafting off his bracelet. She now likes Layton. Luke still likes Bella. Edward has fled the coffee shop, leaving our noble characters (and Bella) sitting at the table in an awkward love triangle.**

Bella looked at the door with a hint of a smile sitting on her usually blank face. "Well, where were we?"

Layton peered over Bella's shoulder. "What an odd gentleman," he mused, adjusting his hat. "It's always hard to adjust to the idea of hallucinogenic gas, but this young man's actions were totally inexcusable."

"I believe you were telling us about why you liked that man," Luke piped in.

"Yeah, I was," agreed Bella. "But some of the details are not ideal for…" she coughed lightly. "…younger listeners."

"Hey!" Luke stood up, indignant.

"Luke, one must always respect a lady's wishes," Layton gently chided. He nodded his head toward the door. "It would be prudent for you to take a walk outside."

Luke glowered contemptuously at Layton, and then turned his gaze to Bella. His rebellious resolve quickly disappeared as he stared into her nondescript eyes, and a flicker of a smile managed to dart across his face before he promptly turned it into a scowl. Determined to keep this new resolve, he stomped out the door.

Across from the coffee shop was a small park, and Luke made his way over to sit down on a bench. Not only was he missing out on the full answer to a puzzle not even his great mentor could solve, he was also losing an excuse to sit next to and look at Bella. The way her pale fingers wrapped around her cardboard cup, the way her flat hair just sort of hung off of her head… these images now rested solely in his mind, and not his eyes. He kicked a rock angrily, sending it speeding off across the dirt into a rather intoxicated squirrel. The squirrel gave a feeble squeak, and proceeded to flee up the nearest tree, before falling off backwards. "The futility of life," Luke sighed. "I hate Bella." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when he wished he could withdraw them.

All of a sudden, a muscular man sat down besides Luke; he had short, glossy black hair and impossibly toned stomach and arms.

"Yo," he greeted Luke, acknowledging him with a jerk of the head. "You having girl problems?"

"Yeah," admitted Luke. "The girl of my dreams has a crush on another man."

"That sucks, yo," the man said. "Story of my life."

"And that other man is my mentor, and is obviously not interested in returning her affection."

"I could dig that, yo. It ain't that bad. You just gotta take what life gives ya."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, your girl's gonna get over that dude real fast, if he ain't paying her no attention."

"I suppose that's true."

"And then she'll be out on the market, yo! You can put on some moves and snag her!"

Luke wasn't convinced. He also shuddered, thinking about what dubious 'moves' the man could be referring to. "Are you sure about this?"

"Well, Imma' tell you some'n. Yo, can you keep a secret?"

"Sure, dawg," said Luke, trying to emulate the man's speech. It sounded peculiar mixed with Luke's English accent, but the man didn't say anything.

"Well, I use'ta like this girl once; we were friends. Then she got a boyfriend, some creepy dude. But then she got dumped, and came cryin' back to me. And then I started puttin' on some of those moves I was talkin' 'bout. And she liked me, too, but then that whore turned back to her boyfriend as soon as he got lonely and came back!"

"Wow," said Luke. "What happened next?"

"Well, she kept going out with this dude. Then she married him, and got knocked up pretty bad. And then she gave birth to a half-vampire demon child that I fell madly in love with."

Luke's jaw dropped. "I'm sorry, what was your name?"

"Jacob," the man extended his hand. "Jacob Black."

**A/N: Heehee, more use of creative license. In this story, Jacob Black speaks inexplicably like an inner-city kid. Do not ask me why; it simply is. Tune in for the fourth and (maybe) final installment in the Twilight Enigma!**

**Also, be sure to review, fave, and share! Reviews and faves make my day! :D**


	4. Verdicts and Vacations

**A/n: I'm sorry for the huge delay in getting this out. My reasons are reiterated in my profile, so I won't go repeating them here. But yeah. I took the Stephenie Meyer approach to this chapter and threw in some unforseen and irrational plot twists to set up something akin to a climax. I hope you enjoy it!**

**And believe it or not, but my friend is actually NOT SICK!! Fingers crossed that this doesn't change ;)**

Edward pulled his coat closer around him, shoved his hands in his pockets, and stalked down the road. The love of his life, the forgettable Bella Swan, had just dumped him for a smart gentleman who would not abuse her, a choice that utterly mystified Edward. Stepping off a curb and crossing the street, he contemplated the various courses of action that he could follow.

He could, as he had tried before, to control what friends Bella saw or order Alice to take her hostage for a two-day "sleepover." But where was the fun in that?

He could be an attention whore and go threaten to have the Volturi kill him in Italy. He would fly out there and wait dramatically for Bella to come rushing to his side.

He could, as any normal person would, get over it. Perhaps he could review what he did wrong in this relationship and improve it for next time.

Defying all rational thought (as always), he decided upon choice number two. Renewed with a sense of perverse purpose, he hailed a taxi and asked to be driven to the nearest airport.

While Edward was being driven in a cab that stank of sweat to the airport, Bella was talking to Layton in the coffee shop.

"So you're into puzzles," mused Bella, giving Layton an uncharacteristically flirty smile. "That's cool. I love a man with brains."

"Yes; I'd enjoy nothing more than to sink my teeth into a good puzzle," admitted Layton, swirling his coffee.

"Mmhmm, how would you like to sink your teeth into me?" Bella's voice dropped to a seductive whisper.

"Well," muttered Layton, clearly taken aback. "I am sorry to disappoint you, but I am not familiar with cannibalistic practices."

Bella suddenly remembered that Layton was a regular human gentleman, not a hormonal teen vampire. An awkward silence settled upon the two sitting at the table like a fog. Bella anxiously tapped her feet. Layton calmly took a swig from his coffee and examined a poster on the wall. The seconds seemed to stretch out longer than Meyer's all-too-detailed descriptions of Edward. Bella began to sweat.

"Have you read those Dan Brown books?" Bella finally broke the silence, her voice returning to its normal tone. "I hear they're chock full of puzzles."

"Regrettably, I have not. Are they any good?"

"Well, the first one was… it was set in Italy."

"Italy, you say? Interesting that you should mention that; Luke and I were planning to travel there tomorrow."

"That's so cool!" Bella exclaimed, leaning over the table. "I've always wanted to go there!"

"Well, would you care to accompany us? We could always buy an extra ticket."

"Oh, thank you! I would love to!" gushed Bella, completely forgetting her disdain for gifts and attention.

"Sounds good," replied Layton, getting to his feet and tossing his cup out. "I shall go find Luke and inform him of this new development."

As Layton walked out the door, Bella afforded herself a grin. Even though she was disappointed Layton's annoying little assistant would be tagging along, she had just scored herself a trip to Italy with the man of her dreams.

Layton spied Luke from across the park. Luke was shaking hands with what looked like a bodyguard. After the handshake, Luke turned and walked back towards the coffee shop. As soon as he saw Layton, he broke into a run.

"Professor! Professor!" Luke shouted. "Guess who I just met?!"

"Luke, it will not do to shout in public," Layton chastised gently.

"Sorry, Professor," Luke panted, arriving at Layton's side. "But that was Jacob Black!"

"Jacob?" muttered Layton, taken aback. "Isn't he Native American?"

"That's what I thought, too," Luke was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. "But he said that it's another detail Stephenie changed to make her story more palatable."

"How very interesting," Layton observed. "I guess his name is Jacob BLACK, after all. Anyways, Luke, I have just invited Bella Swan on our trip to Italy. Is that okay with you?"

Luke tried to keep a straight face as he gave his assent, but he felt like jumping up and down out with sheer joy. His stomach flipped faster than a fairground ride as his he began to imagine the new consequences Bella's presence would create,

This would be the best vacation of his life.

**A/n: Christmas break means more time for updates! Stay tuned for Part Five, what I think will be the last installment... but then again, I don't really plan these things out, so who knows?**

**Thanks for all of your support so far! Keep it up! :D *Tosses out Christmas cookies to my wonderful audience***


	5. Cab Rides and Carnivores

**A/n: Sorry for the absence, guys, I got really busy and this fanfic was the least of my concerns. To make up for it, I made this chapter a little longer than usual. Oh yeah, did you know Denali is an anagram of denial? I noticed that when I was writing this. Oh, the glorious wisdom my notes impart ;)**

**As usual, I don't own Professor Layton (because I'd die of awesomeness) nor Twilight (because I'd die of shame). **

Edward's cab inched forward pitifully in the stop-and-go traffic. The driver, a Middle Eastern man who fulfilled any number of cab-driver stereotypes, had Indian music blaring through the cab speakers. Edward was glad that the music was so loud; it gave him an excuse to sit quietly and brood in the back. His mind wandered, and he reflected on his denial of Tanya Denali's affections. He couldn't help but to think of her blonde hair, her strawberry curls… why exactly did he ever turn her down in the first place? He couldn't recall his exact line of reasoning, but he was sure it was pretty stupid.

Raindrops started hitting the roof of the cab in a chaotic percussion that clashed horribly with the music's beat. As far as Edward could see, the traffic would not be getting any lighter. He considered just jumping out of the taxi and running all the way to the airport, but ultimately decided against it. He was in no rush; he had all the time in the world.

Meanwhile, Layton, Luke, and Bella were walking down the street.

"If I'm going to go to Italy with you tomorrow," Bella remarked to Layton, "I'm probably going to need to pack a suitcase."

"A logical conditional," Layton replied. "Do you need a ride to your house? We have a rental car at our hotel."

"That'd be great, if you don't mind. Where's your hotel?"

"Just down the street here," Luke volunteered. "Isn't that right, Professor?"

"Correct as always, Luke."

"We were lucky," Luke told Bella. "They rental car company had a car almost identical to our one back in England."

"Oh really? What car do you drive, Mr. Layton?"

"Please, call me Herschel. And it is a unique model; that's why we were so surprised to see it here."

The car, Bella soon found out, was something akin to a red Volkswagen Beatle, albeit one with a Model T-esque front. Layton drove, of course, and Luke all-too-eagerly gave up his shotgun position for Bella. The ride was a pleasant one; Layton engaged in some small talk with Bella, who did not even try to flirt with him this time. Luke was quietly sitting in the back, staring in admiration at Bella's plain brown hair. While it could have used some of that volumizing shampoo that Luke had seen during commercials, and perhaps a new style, Luke was absolutely smitten with it.

"So how is that Renesmee?" Layton finally asked during a lull in the conversation. "She sounds like quite the genius child."

"Actually, Herschel… I never had Renesmee. That whole plot line was a desperate ploy by Meyer to give _Breaking Dawn_ a purpose."

"Was that the creative license you were talking about earlier?"

"Yeah. Anyone who knows anything about basic anatomy would realize that Edward can't father a child. He can't even-"

"Say no more, my dear. I understand."

Luke broke out of his daydream, a rather personal one that involved him, Bella, and a slab of dark chocolate. "Professor! I think I solved it!"

"Solved what, Luke?"

"How Edward was able to impregnate Bella!"

Layton sighed. "Yes, Luke, we have established this already," he intoned wearily, perhaps with a bite of impatience. "Really, you must pay attention sometimes!"

Luke slumped back in his seat, disappointed. He was expecting one of Layton's laudatory catchphrases, but ended up being embarrassed in front of Bella, of all people. For the first time, tendrils of preteen angst curled around his admiration of Layton.

The car rumbled along the road, and Layton pulled off onto a forested path at Bella's direction. The murmur of the voices from the front seat and gentle hum of the car's engine had lulled Luke into a sort of stupor. His head was resting against the window, and he watched the trees fly by, merging into a single green-brown blur. Suddenly, Luke lurched forward as the car screeched to a halt. He swung his gaze out to the front windshield, where he saw a tan lump slide off the hood.

"An animal!" he cried, and hopped out of the car. He saw the lump, a deer, lying, unmoving, in front of the rental-Laytonmobile; blood had already begun to pool around the body. He knelt down besides the deer, a doe, and laid a hand on her soft hide. "Are you okay?" he whispered desperately.

Bella and Layton had exited the as well, and Bella was surprised to find that Luke was actually _talking_ to the deer!

"AH, I'M HIT!" screamed the deer. Only Luke understood her, however; Bella and Layton were assaulted with a terrible shrieking noise.

"Calm down, everything's going to be fine," Luke said desperately, not knowing what else to say.

"TELL THE FAMILY I LOVE 'EM!" the deer shouted "TELL THE KIDS I LOVE 'EM!"

"I will," Luke promised helplessly. "I promise, I'll-"

"I CAN FEEL THE LIFE DRAINING OUT THROUGH MY VEINS! OH, THE INHUMANITY!" the deer interrupted, bringing the focus back to herself. She tried to get back up, but collapsed on her spindly legs.

Bella walked up behind Luke, and knelt down beside him. Much to Luke's surprise (and delight), she bent over the doe's head. She looked like she was about to whisper something in his ear, or as she got closer, maybe even a kiss. But then Luke watched in horror as Bella took a giant bite out of the doe's neck.

"I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE! OH, THE INHUMANITY!" the deer cried out.

Luke could not help but stare as Bella broke its neck and drained it of blood. Once she was done, she picked it up with inhuman strength and slung it into the woods.

"I was famished," she said, wiping a smear of blood off her lips with the back of her hand. "That was a pretty good snack!" She walked back to the car, leaving Luke to stare at the bloodstained road. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Herschel," she told Layton as she walked past him and got back into the car.

"Come on, Luke," Layton went up and put his arm around Luke's shoulder. "Let's drop Bella off."

For the first time during their car ride, Luke was actually looking forward to this moment.

**A/n: Good news for those who love this fic - I've come up with an idea or two that could prolong it by a good three or four chapters. HINT: it stars more characters, from both fandoms. Also, in case you were wondering, my friend is not sick. She does, however, have a dislocated patella :/**

**As usual, please leave a review. Those things sorta make my day and are a huge incentive to keep this story going :D**


	6. Plans and Prisoners

**A/n: I'm back! I'm not going to apologize for the absence, because you guys are probably sick of hearing it, but just know that I'm glad to be back. I've decided to go in a different direction with this story, one that would make this the penultimate chapter. I like this new version a lot better, because it keeps things fresh and exciting. I don't want this to go stale and taper off; I want it to be awesome from start to finish!**

**Also, I still haven't managed to buy the rights to Twilight and Professor Layton. Not that I'm trying to; I just don't have 'em.**

Edward, having arrived at the airport, bought his tickets and made his way through security. He smiled, knowing that his clingy lamb would soon come to her senses and realize her mistake. She would hurry to Italy, ignore his pale, flabby chest, and leap into his arms. She would profess her eternal love for him, and he would profess his back. Then they would kiss passionately, make up, and travel back to the States. It was a simple plan, and Edward knew it would work – after all, it had already worked once before.

Meanwhile, as Layton pulled into the driveway at the Cullen household, a gentle rain began to fall from the cloudy sky. Layton put the car in park, and he, Bella, and Luke sat in silence for a moment.

"Oh dear," muttered Layton, turning to look in the back seat. "It appears that we've forgotten to bring an umbrella."

"That's okay," said Bella. "I'm not a witch; I won't melt."

Luke grumbled quietly in the back seat; he hadn't forgotten Bella's cruel feast upon the poor doe Layton had accidentally hit. He could still picture the crimson blood staining her teeth while the deer wailed in the background. At that point, pure hate had driven the lovelorn mists from Luke's eyes, revealing Bella to be what she really was: a terrible monster. Luke could hardly fathom why he had ever even liked her in the first place.

"Nonsense," said Layton. "It won't do to have a young lady walk herself to the door."

"No, truly-"

"Luke, why don't you accompany her?"

Unbeknownst to Layton, a silent groan arose from both Bella and Luke. Bella didn't want some snot-nosed kid shoehorning himself between her and Layton. He had done nothing but get in the way ever since she laid eyes on him.

Luke was not too keen on having to walk out into the rain, either, especially for the benefit of some bloodthirsty creep. But still, he was Layton's apprentice, and Luke had to do what Layton asked.

By this time, the gentle drizzle had increased to a sizable downpour. Fat raindrops splattered on the car's roof and windshield. Luke, not wanting to get wet, dug under the seats in front of him.

"Layton's apprentice saves the day!" He crowed as he pulled out two sizeable garbage bags.

"Trash bags?" Layton asked. "Ah! Very clever, Luke! You can wear them as ponchos! Bella, just tear a hole there so you can see through it. You too, Luke. Be careful not to choke!"

Bella and Luke donned their bags, stepped out of the car, and dashed up to the house. Luke looked expectantly up at Bella while she dug out her keys from her pocket. She may have been a terrible monster, but that didn't mean he couldn't use a kiss.

"Beat it, kid," Bella said as she opened her door and stepped inside. She had guessed what was on that kid's mind, and she didn't like it one bit. Luke sighed, and ran back to the car.

Inside her house, Bella ducked out of her makeshift poncho. Suddenly, she whirled around and screamed. An evil-looking man with a red and purple coat clamped a hand firmly over her mouth and pushed her against the wall. He tied her hands together behind her back, plastered a strip of duct tape over her mouth, and shoved her into the nearby closet. As Bella fell against the many coats and shoes inside the closet, she frantically wondered why she wasn't able to use her super-strength to fight her way out of the situation. But then she remembered: vampire super-strength existed only in her books.

Bella did not know it, but Don Paolo had struck again.

**A/n: Did any of you see the movie version of New Moon? Then you know that _pale_ and _flabby_ are perfect descriptions of Edward's chest. For those of you who haven't seen it, please don't. You may be scarred for life if you do.**

**Anyways, thanks for keeping up with this! I'm really happy this is so popular! The last installment will be coming soon, so make sure to leave a review and share this with your friends! **


	7. Suspicions and Sobs

**A/N: Surprise! This isn't the last chapter after all! I decided to do another one, surprisingly. You see, I keep forgetting where I want to go with this, so I pretty much make new stuff up each chapter. This seems to be an important career skill. Just look at the writers of Lost! Zing!**

**But yeah, such is life. Also, this chapter is dedicated to the same person as always, and like always, I own neither Layton nor Twilight.**

Luke and Layton sat in Layton's car, waiting for Bella to return with her packed bags. Rain continued to beat down loudly on the roof, making conversation nearly impossible. Luke pondered his situation: he had loved Bella for so long, but now he had seen another side of her. The real, egocentric, Layton-loving, deer-chomping her.

"Professor," Luke finally said over the rain, "do you like Bella?"

"Do I like her? Not particularly," Layton admitted, "but a true gentleman is a gentleman to every lady he meets. Why? Do you harbor affections for her?"

"Well, I thought I did. But now, after spending some time with her, I'm not so sure. I didn't know she was like this"

"How very astute of you, Luke; one must actually spend time with the objection of one's affection in order to determine if that affection is well-deserved."

As Luke puzzled this over, Bella emerged from the rain and threw her luggage into the trunk of the car. She slid into the front seat, bringing a decidedly unladylike odor with her. Luke was about to say something, but he could practically hear Layton's voice chiding him. _Luke, a true gentleman does not comment on the stench of a lady_.

"Sorry that took so long," said Bella in a decidedly unladylike voice. Luke was suspicious, but Layton inexplicably did not seem to notice anything amiss.

"No trouble at all," Layton replied, accelerating out of the Cullens' driveway. The ride to the airport was uneventful; Layton and Luke chatted amicably with Bella, who replied in a decidedly unladylike fashion. The trip was about as diplomatic as its circumstances would allow.

Meanwhile, Edward boarded his plane and watched a blandly attractive stewardess teach him and his fellow seatmates, in exaggerated detail, how to buckle their seatbelts. Having dealt with standard seatbelts before, and knowing full well the belt across his lap would present no difficulty to him, Edward turned his attention to the SkyMall magazine stuffed into the seatback pocket in front of him. He flipped through its pages, meditating on the usefulness of each item it showcased. The magazine's wares were undeniably flashy, but ultimately useless. What use did the world have for a motorized floating drink holder? None, he decided. Just like the world had no use for a vampire.

Oh, his book series had been popular, there was no denying that. But he regretted ever agreeing to let Stephenie Meyer chronicle his life. The books had earned him a rabid following and hundreds of thousands of dollars in royalties, but they had failed to produce a meaning for his life. Edward closed the magazine, and, against the orders of the stewardess, reclined his seat. He waited for the sweet oblivion of sleep to take him.

Two teen girls across the aisle eyed him intently.

"Is that… _Edward_?" One asked the other incredulously.

"No – it can't be!"

"Oh my God! I think it is!" By this point, both girls started crying. "I can't believe we're on the same flight – I'm not worthy!"

"Why?" sobbed the other. "Why couldn't we have been on a flight with Jacob Black? It's just my rotten luck that I get stuck with stupid old Edward!"

Edward heard this last remark, and unable to take the pain any longer, consumed two doses of the cough medicine he had smuggled onto the plane as a single tear rolled down his stony cheek.

**N/A: Aw, so depressing. You're probably tired of hearing this, but the next chapter will probably be the last one. Probably. Expect the entrance of everyone's favorite Flora! And as always, review/fave/share! :D**


	8. Encounters and Explanations

**Super A/N: I've had this written for about a month now, but this website's been weird and wasn't letting me upload it. But alas, it works now! So enjoy, and happy Easter!**

**A/N: What is this? Two installments without months in between them? I know, it's strange. But so are snow days during the end of March :D**

**Now, fair warning: this installment contains minor spoilers for Unwound Future, and this note will contain massive ones. Everyone gone who hasn't read it? Good. Now, I loved Unwound Future! It was easily my favorite in the series. Claire and Layton's backstory was too adorable for words, and their eventual parting was tragic. It has to be one of the most emotional separations I have ever witnessed. And then Future Luke? Who cares if he really turned out to be Clive, he was _freaking awesome_. His side-eyed, half-lidded stare made all his dialogue seem condescending, and it was hilarious. He might just be my favorite character in the series. Also, I loved how Luke struggled between acting like an adult and a child (especially with the toy car); poor Luke, always expected to be a gentleman. And he moved! So sad. Now was it just me, or did Flora seem super-whiny this time? All she does is create trouble. Layton and Luke should leave her behind more often. **

**Thanks for checking, but I still own neither Layton nor Twilight. **

Layton, Luke, and Bella walked into the airport clutching their luggage. Layton scanned the atrium, looking for his airline's check-in counter. "We are looking for Molentary Airlines," he told Luke and Bella.

"There it is, Professor!" exclaimed Luke, pointing to a row of counters a few hundred feet to their left.

"Excellent work, Luke. Please, follow me." Layton stepped forward and walked toward his check-in. He had hardly walked three yards before he heard a decidedly feminine shout.

"Professor! You're not leaving without me again!"

Layton whirled around, trying to identify the speaker. Then he found her.

"Flora!"

"Who is this woman?" growled Bella.

"You keep trying to leave me behind!" complained Flora. "Why can't you take me along?"

"Bella, this is our good friend Flora. Flora, this is Bella."

"You're not getting out of this one, Layton. Now why didn't you invite me?"

"Flora," Luke chose his words carefully. "You have an unfortunate habit of getting… captured."

"What? No I don't!"

"Luke has a point. What happened in St. Mystere?" Layton asked

"Don Paolo kidnapped me."

"And what happened in Dropstone?"

"Don Paolo kidnapped me… again." said Flora sadly

"And then he dressed up as you! I don't know how you didn't see through that one, Professor," Luke admitted.

"And then what happened in the future London that just turned out to be an elaborate underground set-up?"

"I… was captured."

"And didn't you specifically tell us you would avoid being kidnapped?"

"…yes…"

"Well, that's why we don't invite you along anywhere, Flora!" Luke explained. "We don't have time to go around rescuing you all the time!"

"No I promise! Who's going to kidnap me at the airport? Please let me come!" Flora begged.

"No, don't let her!" pleaded Luke.

"For once, I have to agree with the brat here," added Bella.

"Bella, a true gentleman never leaves a lady behind. I would think you knew that, Luke," Layton explained.

"So I can come?"

"I suppose so," Layton conceded. Flora cheered and Luke and Bella groaned. "That being said," Layton added, "I am unusually hungry. I could really use some… tea and cucumber sandwiches."

"I can make some! Let me go get them," beamed Flora, and she ran off.

"That trick never fails," Layton grinned at Flora and Luke. "Now, quickly, we must get through security before she returns. A true gentleman never leads a lady into danger." Layton winked slyly.

Layton purchased the tickets for himself, Luke, and Bella without incident and the group began to walk toward the security lines.

"Layton," asked Bella, "could we stop for a minute?"

"Certainly."

"What is it?" asked Luke. Despite his newfound uneasiness toward Bella, he could not help but to feel concerned for her.

"Can I see our tickets?" Bella asked.

"I don't see why not," said Layton as he handed them over.

Bella laughed evilly as she clutched the tickets in her hand. "You're coming with me now!"

"I thought we were coming with you in the first place," said Luke, confused.

"No…" Bella paused for dramatic effect, and whipped off her mask. "You're coming with _me_!"

"Don Paolo!" exclaimed Layton.

"The one and only. I was amazed you fell for that simple costume for as long as you did."

"I knew something was wrong!" shouted Luke.

"Yes, you have fooled me," admitted Layton, puzzled. "But what are you going to do with our tickets?"

"Fly you to Italy with me!" Don Paolo declared

"Why do you want to go to Italy with us so badly?" interrogated Luke, jabbing a finger into Don Paolo's chest.

"Because…" Don Paolo leaned against the wall sadly with his head in his hands. "I'm... lonely."

"Lonely?" asked Layton gently.

"Yes… No one wants to be friends with an evil genius. Luke, Flora, Claire – everyone chooses to be around you."

"That is true. A gentleman does attract his followers," reflected Layton. "Yet I must admit this situation has worked itself out quite fortuitously."

"What do you mean?" Don Paolo asked, looking up.

"Bella was really annoying!" Luke said. "I didn't want to go to Italy with her!"

"I invited her merely for the sake of politeness," explained Layton. "I would far rather vacation with you than her."

"Really?" Don Paolo's eyes began to fill with tears.

"I bet my hat on it."

"Aw, thank you!" Don Paolo managed to choke out, and pulled Layton and Luke into a massive bear hug. Then he grabbed both their arms happily, and marched proudly to security.

**A/N: Aww, how cute. Didn't this fanfic wrap up nicely. Wait, what about Edward? And Jacob? And Bella? And Flora? Well, I guess there might just be one last chapter in which we find out :P But in the meantime, keep on reading/sharing/favorite-ing/reviewing!**


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